It’s fall y’all

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I’m sitting at my desk in my chilly “office” aware of the alternating downpour/drizzle rain against my window. It’s 45 degrees F out..not super cold and there is no snow on the ground – garden bed soil might just be cool enough to plant garlic and onions now.

In the meantime, I’ve developed a list of sorts. Typically, I’m one to make mental lists and sometimes jot them down (only to lose them,) but recent developments insist I have written a list to follow, because the chores have increased. Which is a good thing.

  1. Our luffa plants absolutely took off this year. We have more than we can use, and unfortunately some will go to the compost bin. This is a little concerning because those seeds…wow..they’re prolific. The immature squash is, apparently, tasty to eat. We didn’t get that experience in. The beauty about the luffa is in it’s growing season.
    • You plant.
    • Let it grow.
    • Let it die and get brown,
    • Harvest.
    • Peel, shake out seeds.
    • DIY sponge things to use in bathrooms, kitchens etc.
  2. When the first frost came it killed all the vines so we harvested the remainder. Fortunately, these are approved to give to the cattle – in moderation. We have plenty dried sponges to gift!

2. Clean up all spent plants. Time to dig up the scraggly peppers, the droopy sunflowers, the shriveled peas you never had time for.

3. Amend the soil. Test it with you local ag or get a soil test from a seed store or local nursery. Amend with whatever it calls for.

4. We harvested our sweet potatoes, too. A keen observation: if you leave them in the ground too long, you may be harvesting spuds bigger than your head. (We had to let the harvesting go a little longer than recommended because on of us was recovering from spine surgery. Not me, this time.)

4. Time to plant onions and garlic. Here in N East Texas it is recommended to plant these when it’s colder and the soil is colder, too. Right now would be a good time, but I’m not into planting in the rain.

5. After putting the garden or raised beds (as is our case,) it is recommended to cover the beds with mulch.

6. We do a deep clean of the poultry houses twice, maybe three times, a year. This time of year, we completely clean the old shavings out and put a nice couple of inches in to offer more insulation. We try to not use heat lamps because a) the chickens are little heat machines and b) the heat lamps have, on occasion fallen and caught the coops on fire. It’s curious that at this chilly time of year, the chickens are also molting and the usual layer of warm and protection is temporarily gone, so all the more reason for added warmth. The benefit of adding some kind of artificial light is to promote egg laying as they lay off this time of year. But, some of our girls are older and maybe they need a rest….

7. This is also the time of year we harvest the turkeys. We’re conflicted about what to actually grow here on BaldwinAcres. One of us wants fast growing and a meaty harvest – usually means Broad Breasted Whites. The downfall is they cannot naturally reproduce and sometimes get heavy too fast often resulting in respiratory issues. The other person on the farm enjoys heritage breeds. They are sometimes endangered and/or close to being so, but they grow slow, and although they’re tasty, it can take a season or two and the resulting meat is not – absolutely not – the same as the more commercial BBW. It’s an ongoing discussion.

8. Now is the time, too, that the pastures go dormant and the hay is set out.

9. This year, for the first time, we were able to sell our spring calves. And, a great friend lent us his black angus bull (who came to us nameless but was quickly dubbed – Buckley. His owner and my husband refer to him as the bull…boring. So Buckley’s been with us for a month or so. Folks charge big bucks to lease the bulls so we are every thankful for this gift!

10. Special attention must be paid to the external water sources to prevent freezing and damage. We add trough warmers but haven’t dug deep enough to pay for expensive heated hoses.

11. Final clean up of grasses/pastures/driveways/acorns takes place.

12. Previous to the cold wet weather, we’ve already prepared a sizeable wood pile for the fireplace. One of us is forever chilled and so happy to have fireplace weather arrive.

13. Sometime in this time frame, we’ll put Christmas up. One grandchild makes sure to come put and get the Christmas tree and other things out from the shed and we put it up as our time allows.

14. We made the mistake of putting up a polyurethane greenhouse. It’s too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. We tried putting the evaporative cooler in for the summer and a space heater for the winter, but that drove electricity up too high. Putting solar in is also cost prohibitive. We ended up cutting away some lower sections for the summer and putting them back up in the fall along with some greenhouse bubble wrap. We have a slatted wood floor which we cover with cardboard we’ve saved up during the year. This seems to make it useable, but not ideal.

On very sunny days during this time we might enjoy the hot tub, or sitting by the firepit, but honestly that takes effort, so most days are spent inside, by the fire, reading, researching, seed drooling, planning and just being thankful.

To Process evil and get to Good

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To Process Evil and get back to the Good.

(written the early am hours after hearing about the murder of Charlie Kirk. )

 September 11 1:27 am Linda Mae Baldwin

I hear the bad news, the awful news, the – I can’t believe people can perpetuate such evil – news and I do not pray.

I do not say gracious things like – Father forgive them for they know not what they do…. or….they need Jesus, we should pray.

No, my first reaction is wholly human, anger, tears, doubt and sadness, maybe a cuss word or two.

My social media posts don’t read as if there are gentle butterflies flitting about, but more like angry yellow jackets zipping in and around words.  Coherent thoughts fail me. I usually have plenty to say, but in these dark moments most of what is roaring through my head should stay right there.

I do not really care that my reactions might offend others or shock others or bring judgement on me – no one can judge me harsher than I judge myself. No, what I battle with, is why my response is so human. Fleshy. I honor God. I love Jesus and live my life as his apprentice or disciple, the Holy Spirit and I are closely connected, so why isn’t my response less dark? More light? Less telly? More gentle whispers? Why aren’t I saying forgive them? Or, it’s ok, he’s with Jesus now. Or, even I’m going to pray for the murderers.

I wish my responses were like that, IMMEDIATELY. Instead, I tumble through a rainbow of dark colored feelings AND then shame myself for being too human AND then I will pray.

It’s as if my mind has to first process the evil into some sort of thing to be wrestled with, kneaded and thrown – then I can handle that and configure it into a less weighty thing that doesn’t make my soul feel blistered and I will pray.

I imagine the fact that I can go through the processing of such evil and not get stuck there, means that Jesus is involved…even though I can’t feel his presence. It might take me awhile to get to trusting and forgiving, but I will get there – eventually.

No matter the chaos in this wicked cesspool temporary world – we know, I know, he does love – me, and just like in the garden he seeks me, he wants to walk with me. Even when I am not acting like his child. Even when we doubt, even when we’re silent – the only sounds are angry words and sobs.

So, I begin the process of moving through this evil…knowing that although I feel lonesome, I am not alone.

I know I don’t have to shame myself because my first response is not lofty words or high ideas with pillow like comfort…because, I’m going to get to the response my soul needs: Jesus said to forgive, to pray, to love…I’m just going to get to the good the hard way.

And, I’m ok with that.

Essential Tips for Spinal Fusion Recovery Success

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As I start to write this, I’m 11 weeks post spinal fusion surgery. (TLIF) I’ll tell ya, this arthritis, that is slowly destroying my bones/joints is unpleasant. The medical folk refer to it as a degenerative bone disease. Seems like and overly weighted description to me, but after a shoulder replacement, a reverse shoulder replacement, one knee partial replacement and, now, a spine with a wonked out vertebrae slipping forward, (spondylolisthesis), along with developing scoliosis and faucets growing on most of the vertebrae in my spine.

The condition wasn’t helped with steroid shots, physical therapy or meds, so surgery it is – if I could continue working the farm. We had multiple decompressions and the TLIF (Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion) surgery (spinal fusion where they shoved the rebellious vertebrae back in it’s proper spot, screw it in and add some kind of something that will grow around it making it one with the spine.)

This was the most painful recovery I’ve had. I also had alonger stay in the hospital than anticiapted because my drain would not comply and kept filling up. Also, I had an absolute terrible nurse, who was uncaring, and totally not willing to do her job. When it came down to it, I had to report her. The other nurse I encountered after I had a run in with the neglegent nurse (who was very unconcerned about a bout of incontinece caused by a higher does of muscle relaxer than necessary) the next nurse met a woefully sobbing me. We had to report her to the head nurse. But, anyways, always be an advocate for yourself, is what I learned

.I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older or because it was the spine or what…but that first week at home was awful…I had to assure my husband it was ok to not pay attention to the noises I was making because they were absolutely involuntary….also, don’t pay attention to the crying – also involuntary. He was sweet and prayed for me often, but was worried all the same.

The instructions after surgery are to not BLT (Bend, lift or twist) for quite awhile – my surgeon said it could take up to a year to be ‘normal’ but by 6 months I should be able to BLT again. In preparation for the recovery, my husband and I went to the nursery and bought some starts for our raised garden bed. The idea was, being 64, I pretty much know myself and understand I’m pretty lazy and prone to like comfort. So, if I had these starts that would HAVE to get planted, I’d make the walk to the garden every day after planting them. The pain was so absolutely unbearable there was no way I could get out there to water things let alone plant things. My husband still works fulltime and is a late evening/weekend rancer so we called in some help.

One grand came out for the weekend and helped my husband get the starts in the ground so the money wasn’t wasted! Garden saved!

Eventually I was able to cast aside the walker but my smart watch kept warning me that my walking was unstable and I was in danger of falling. There was little doubt I would return to the walker and I really didn’t want to use an old lady cane (yes, I know I’m an old lady, but I don’t want to garnish myself as one), so I bought a rustic walking stick to help me stay mobile and not fall. I also bought some sturdy ‘recovery flip flops’ that were solid (see below).

I’m picking this up at 19 weeks post TLIF – life has busy but I’ve been able to keep up! God has healed me very quickly. I want to encourage folks, if the option of getting spine surgery scares you, I would encourage you to reconsider.

Here’s a few things that helped me:

  1. Lots of rest.
  2. Someone who can be there 24/7 at first.
  3. There’s a special personal hygiene item that seriously help with toileting. On Amazon search for Fanwer Toilet Aids Tools,Long Reach Comfort Wipe,Extends Your Reach Over 15″ Grips Toilet Paper or Pre-Moistened Wipes.

4. These thick flip flops give stability to walking. https://a.co/d/hbkHQgJ shevalues Orthopedic Sandals for Women Arch Support Recovery Flip Flops Pillow Soft Summer Beach Shoe

5. This walking stick. Backyard Expressions 55 in Rustic Wood Walking Stick, Traditional Style Handle, for Men & Women, Trekking Pole, Hiking Pole, Walking Stick.

This stick was a neccisaty when I got rid of the walker, but I needed some support for stabilty but didn’t like the traditiaonl cane. Very affordable and helpful to regaind independence.

6. This cushion, I got it at costco for less than $50. When it came time to start sitting at my desk and working, my previous perfectly adequate office chair was not making sitting very comfortable. My hips would get stiff and achy within minutes. So, we bought this and it has made all the difference. Type S Smoothing Premium Comfort Memory Foam Seat Cushion – Ergonomic Back Pain Relief for Coccyx Tailbone Sciatica Back Pain Relief for Office Chairs

Finally, make sure to have in qeue your a book stack, maybe kindle stack, podcasts, tv shows, movies and new music playlists. It makes it easier to just dial in instead of having to research when you’re semi out of it. Also, I found some great bible studies to do…Awake by Prisciall Shrier, Adamant by Lisa Bevere, and the Devine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard, in additon to digging into my Life Application Study Bible which has a abundance of resources.

Keep praying..you’ll be up and about at no time.

Playlist suggestions : anything by Matthew West, Mercy Me and Forrest Frank.

From Garden to Table: Delicious Quickles Recipe

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Today we’re talking cucumbers. Last year, spring was exceedingly wet. Until suddenly it was HOT. We lost our cucumbers, our broccoli, cabbages and brussels sprouts. We did, however, make up for it in the late summer/fall with bumper crops of cucumbers (but not the kind to make pickles out of), tomatoes and peppers. So, this year, I wanted a different kind of year. A succesful one.

We planted earlier, even though the soil was still cool, we covered seedlings with frost cloth and then switched it to shade cloth. We did, again have an infestation of aphids, although we had the cloth on….but still, here it is the end of May and we were able to make our first pickles. Last year it seemed I wasn’t doing any water bathing /canning until the fall and to be honest, I didn’t do great. My candied Jalapenos are uneaten, the pickled peppers stored safely in the pantry and my pepper jelly is keeping them all company. It can be a little discouraging but also encouraging as I try new things.

Last year I also tried a couple different pickles recipes : freezer pickles, refrigerator pickles and snacking pickles. This year I’m less ambitious because I need some wins!

Yesterday, we finished our homemade pastrami (delicious) and picked some cucumbers and made a Quickle (Quick pickle.) it was simple, however I found them a little too sour. We used rice vinegar so next batch will try red wine vinegar. But, we’re eating them and that’s a win.

So I thought I’d share in case you need a win, too.

Here’s my Recipe for Quickles.

1/2 pound of cucumbers cut thin.

1 Cup of water/1 cup of vinegar/1 tbsp of salt in a out -cook until the salt dissolves.

Pour over the cucumbers which you’ve placed in a jar or container. Add a clove of garlic. Let cool to room temperature and then put in the fridge. Ideally for a day, but a couple hours will do. The longer they sit in the vinegar, of course, the more flavorful they’ll be.

That’s it for today. Try it….and yes, making pastrami is a lengthy process but it was delicious!

WINDY WEATHER

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(I know it’s not good form to capitalize the names of God or His pronouns, but I can’t bring myself to not)

Before too long the summer heat will sweep in and if the plants aren’t in the ground many will wither. So, it’s imperative in this small window of time, while the soil is not too cold and wet to rot the seed and too hard and dry to grow anything, we ‘open’ the garden. In the meantime, wind advisories are in play almost daily and I don’t like to play in the wind.

Guess, what? In real life, on this homestead, it doesn’t really matter what my personal preferences are. Chickens and turkeys still need feed and water. Barn cats need checking on. Cattle need water and protein pellets and fresh forage. Bees need checking on. Dogs need exercise, food and water. Eggs need collecting. And, yes, the garden needs tending.

I imagine some folks might think it’s laughable at my quandry. It’s chilly and windy but by chilly I mean high 60s and low 70s. I reckon I wouldn’t last long in a place where there is actually negative degrees and snow on the ground. I admire those that do, though.

I missed some of the days where I should of started seeds indoors because we were out of country, but I should have been on it as soon as we were back home. Now, I have until the end of the month (one week) to get on it. Oh, did I mention I have a tendency to procrastinate?

It’s ridiculous to spend time writing about it, when I could be out there doing it, but, again, it’s chilly and windy. The hot tub is right outside my office window and the top blows open often. Now, to my defense, I’m not just doing nothing, I’m tackling the indoor chores, because this homestead’s floors need mopping, laundry needs washing, dishes need doing, food needs fixing, bodies need cuddling and brains need feeding!

Speaking of brains, my obsession with wind and unruly weather prompted a word study in the Word. I was delighted to find quite a few references to wind. ( My obsession is no doubt fueled by my sissy attitude towards wind….but I digress.)

The scripture use the word wind to describe weather conditions but also to describe deep things like the attributes of God. It talks about an east wind and a west wind, and south winds bringing the heat. It discusses wind being used as a force to punish and also to help.

Wind might hold a special place in God’s plan. In Psalm 135:7 it says He releases the wind from his storehouses. (some translations say treasuries).

Psalm 148:7-8 says Praise the Lord from the earth, you creatures of ocean depths, fire and hail, snow and clouds, wind and weather, obey Him.

1 Kings 19:11 tells us that God is not always in the BIG things of wind, earthquakes and fire, but often in a gentle voice.

Genesis 8:1 God remembers Noah and the boat and God sent a wind to blow across the earth and the flood waters began to recede.

Exodus 10 God uses the wind to bring the locusts to Pharoh as one of the curses that frees His people.

Matthew 14:24 the disciples find themselves in peril because a strong wind had risen and they were fighting heavy waves and then Jesus came walking to them on the water.

Luke 12:55 Jesus admonishes those who can tell the weather by the ways the wind blows, yet they can’t interpret the present times.

With so many references to wind in the Bible, I reckon I shouldn’t be so consumed with my disdain for certain natural occurrences because He uses them.

It’s good to remember ALL the ways He uses the wind… some pollination of plants happens because of the wind, and in my own life, when it’s hot and dry out the lesser wind, called breeze is welcome. When I am celebrating and rejoicing in Him, arms outstretched, face towards the sky in praise – the sight of soft white clouds moving at His pace with His wind….is another indicator of His ever present being.

He loves us enough to give us examples of something that some might consider insignificant -wind- to learn about His faithful and good character. He is a good, good Father.

Stuck in life’s cinders?

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Cinderella is a fairytale that has caused many young girls to hope one day a true prince will rescue them and give life a happily ever after ending. Cinderella is a tale of a kind and young girl, bound to a life of grueling servitude, sitting in the cinders of the fireplace, under the rule of a mean step mum and two inept and spoiled stepsisters. Beautiful Cinderella is finally rescued by a handsome and rich prince who gives her the life of a princess. Problem is, freedom was always there for Cinderella.

Cindy, why’d it take you so long?

A few versions of the Cinderella story exist: the original mild version by Charles Perrault which focuses on Cinderella’s kind nature, that she is totally in capable of being mean, or the Brothers Grimm more gruesome tale where the older stepsister cuts off her own heel to fit the prized glass slipper and the younger stepsister saws off her own toes to fit. One tale has Cinderella’s father alive but under complete control of his new wife, so he never rescues Cinderella. In the other rendering the father is unfortunately, dead. Similarities of the two tales lie in Cinderella being kindhearted and doing whatever is bid her, like a little puppy seeking his master’s approval. Aren’t we all like this – seeking approval, acceptance, pleasing others, and attention seeking before we meet the one true Prince?

We go through life, maybe physically pretty, maybe not, maybe in a difficult life situation, or maybe not have a materialistic need in the world, and yet our heart searches for someone to help, we’re lonely, depressed, anxious. We make jokes about our caffeine and sugar addictions, always striving for something, someone to fill that ache, that hole in our soul. Pascal said it well when he said, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.” In Ecclesiastes 3:11 we read that God has set eternity in our hearts. We want to know him, although sometimes we aren’t aware that we want to.

 Cinderella’s days are full of grunge, dirt, and chores. The constant barrage of disparaging remarks and lack of any encouragement would leave even the strongest person anxious or depressed. But, Cinderella didn’t have to live that life. In Romans 1:18-21 we read that God has made plain to even the ungodly, what we can know about Him. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world; in the things that have been made so they are without excuse.  So, Cindy really had no reason to wallow in her self-imposed prison. God showed himself to her as he does to all of us, but she was too mired in her life circumstance she didn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t look up see him. Sound familiar?

Anyways, in the story, it takes a royal celebration and a couple of fantastic magical things to happen before the prince comes to rescue her. We know the story of the pumpkin carriage and the rat footmen and the fancy dress and the midnight curfew and of course that little glass slipper that lost its mate in Cindy’s rush to get home before the whole evening’s fantasy crashed down and she was back in the cinders again.

Even still, when the Prince searches for his future bride; the beauty who stole his heart and lost her shoe, and her family hides her away, Cindy really had every opportunity to step up and be courageous. (Joshua 1:9 be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.)  A sound, a cough and knock on a wall, something to reveal her presence was all that was needed.

Our own lives are sometimes sad, sometimes dangerous situations present themselves, and we may feel adrift in a stormy sea. But, Jesus, once seen, lovingly welcomes us. We are free to accept the gift of grace which is eternal. He is right there with us. He has promised he will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5 – be satisfied with what you have, for God has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you”). EVER. (John 10:29 and no one can snatch them out of the Father’s hand.) He wants us to have a full and abundant life! (John 10:10) He died for that! (Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.)

But, Cindy, poor little Cindy, just sitting and waiting for the Prince to finally notice the glass slipper didn’t actually fit not just one sister but two, (I tend to think the blood from the heel and severed toes would be a giveaway, although why he didn’t notice it immediately, just shows that even the most important folks are sometimes not the smartest or most observant,)  before she had a go at the slipper and of course it was a perfect fit. She becomes His bride. And a Princess. Happy Ending.

We don’t have to cut off any part of any appendage to be Jesus’ bride. We don’t have to be born of the right station or have the right job or live in the right country. We don’t have to be the most beautiful, or the favorite anything. Our prince (Jesus) willingly gave his life because of God’s great love for us and desire to be with us as we once were. (John 3:16 God loved us so much he gave his one and only son to die for us so that we should not perish but have eternal life). We as believers are Christ’s bride. Ephesians 5 so well compares our marriage relationship here on earth with the one final relationship we will have in our eternal home.

If you are living the self–imposed prison life of our Cindy, be it physically, emotionally, or spiritually, then don’t wait for a flesh and blood prince to come rescue you.  The Bible says he’s already here; his name is Jesus, and he is waiting for you, all you have to do is say yes.

What Makes You Brave? OTHSO60

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It’s Life On The Other Side of 60 LEARN edition.

It’s the scariest night of the year, Halloween. Celebrations range from sinister and evil while others – It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, for instance, are fun and light hearted. The sinister stuff is meant to scare and frighten. I like to be scared every now and then – when I know it’s going to last for only a moment and it’s not ‘real’ (although that is debatable, too).

There’s a different kind of being afraid. And that kind is when we let fear define who we are. That’s what I’m addressing on this The Other Side of Sixty – Life – Live Brave.

Once upon a time I lived in fear. Fear had me bound up tight. And, not just fear of on one or two things. FEAR defined me. I was afraid of heights. I was afraid of open waters – so much so that I would get seasick standing on a dock watching boats out on the water. Oftentimes I didn’t want to go anywhere, claiming I was pretty much a homebody, when actually I am an extrovert, but I was afraid people weren’t going to like me. I was afraid because much of the time I didn’t like myself. I was afraid that if someone saw ME, the real me, then it was over but the singing. I was afraid to try new things. I was afraid to try any activity that required me to perform in front of others : bowling, zip-lining, church soft-ball. And, I still have a problem testing out a new mattress in public. I probably could call myself a justified fearful person, because my looks and character were severly judged when I was younger. So, then, I COULD be a victim of that and justify my fearfilled life.

In fact, I wouldn’t actually call myself anything because I tried to not do any sort of introspection. I had zero desire, as an more mature person to try and figure out why I was afraid. I realized, at one point that I was dealing with all the fear and feelings by eating. Literally eating my emotions. . to the point I reached 216 pounds.

What changed me? I am not free from fear, no, but I am free from the fear of fear. Is that a head scratcher?? It’s come in stages: My soulmate, the Man…Lance. We’ve been together for 45 years. He is my best friend and my husband, and the love of my life. When we would go on vacation he wanted to try all the things. Things requiring doing new stuff in front of strangers. I caved most of the time, but can say I was so scared during some events (zip-lining in Jamaica for the first time for instance,) I didn’t enjoy the time. I simple wished the activity would end. Then on one occasion, where we were going on a cruise and spending a lot of extra money on shore excursions. There was a walk through Rome, seeing the coliseum etc, which he suggested we forgo the guided tour and go on our own. He had proven through our long relationship that he wouldn’t put me in danger, and would always protect me. So, I decided, to trust him and if he suggested we do something, then I was going to say yes. This Rome excursion is one of our most fun memories. We got a little lost, bought some paintings that were probably done in China, we got lost in a torrential rain storm, the staircases of ancient buildings suddenly become waterfalls and we we talked about the possibilities we might miss the ride back to the ship! But, in it all, we were laughing and having the best time! We bought souvenir sweatshirts and ate thick slices of pizza from a street a cart before getting on the ride back to the ship. All of this because I had decided, made a choice to trust the character of my love and just say yes.

2. When we lived in Australia, we made some wonderful friends…we call them fRamily. We are Nan and Pa to some of the kids. We shared our lives. One of the reasons for my fear, the fear that manifested in seeking people’s approval and wanting everyone to like and to never disappoint anyone. I believe, is the bullying that took place in my younger years. Some boys had taken to call me Frankie because I was so ugly, they said, that I looked like the monster Frankenstein. When it was picture day, they would tell the photographer that I had to go last because I was so ugly I would break the camera. When it was time for us to move to the US from Canada, one of them left a copy of the Ugly American on my desk. I carried the destruction they wrought on my spirit for years. I was fearful. I believed their lies. Then, in Australia, one of our friend’s daughter’s had a lovely daughter. They named her Frankie…because in their native language Frankie meant beautiful. I decided that I would replace the broken Frankie meaning with this new one. And, there was a freedom. Then, I was given a painting of a woman, holding high an open cage with birds flying to freedom.

3. Ultimately though, it’s Jesus. When life is totally given over to Him….fear still creeps in, but you have the assurance that you’re not alone. He is the all in my all. If you don’t know Him, I am happy to introduce you! Fear shows itself in a variety of ways: anxiety, anger, crying, depression. But, know this…every fear, anxiety, anger whatever, you bring to Him, only secures our choice to trust Him. The bible assures us numerous times that God is always with us, has gone before us and will never leave us. We are told that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. You can have that assurance too.

Recommended podcast : The Bema Podcast (a discipleship/evangelism podcast.)

Recommended devotional: Nobody Left Out: Jesus Meets the Messes by Michael Murray

Recommended song: Brave by Moriah Peters

The Other Side of 60 Continued

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As we continue on the LIST, I’m particularly drawn to : Life. Let’s just say up front that for me to think that a person could address all of life things in one single podcast or blog, is absurd. So I’m not going to. I’m going to share what I’m learning in my life at the moment. For me, Life On the other side of 60 can seem a little shady. I have a tendency to look back at what could have been, and then look forward to what might be- either with hope or anxiety. Depends on the day.

Looking back. We got married way too young. I was 17 and he was 18 and he was fresh out of Marine Corps boot camp. We didn’t elope, it’s just that no one could make it to the wedding. We got married at nine o’clock at night at the Candlelight Wedding Chapel on the Las Vegas strip. It’s interesting that our actual wedding took place like this, the two of us without support, except for his Marine Corps mates, who honestly, were more interested in going to Vegas than our wedding. We’ve kind of lived this way our entire marriage. This year, we celebrated 43 years of marriage – 45 years together. It’s been sweet and at times, sour. There have been brilliant adventures and scary events. We’ve lost our parents. We both wanted a large family, but after numerous miscarriages we thought maybe God had other planes for us. But, our love kept us going.

This most recent move back from Australia to Texas marked our 34th address change since we’ve wed. I say we have itchy feet. Maybe some gypsy in our souls. The two things have allowed us to always see our way to each other: 1) Jesus. We are both devoted Jesus followers and He comes first in everything. 2) forgiveness. I forget who said it, but someone said that marriage is just two broken people forgiving each other. And, that in a nutshell is us.

Every now and again though, the one thing the Enemy whispers in my ear is my lack of education. A high school diploma doesn’t go far when you’re looking for a job. It’s long been a barb he poked and twisted in my esteem. It used to really bother me, but spending time with my adult children who are also our friends and who walk with Jesus, along with their spouses. (I refer to the spouses as my children, too, but people get confused.) I know we made the right choices in the early years. We have 15 grandchildren, who of course are fabulous and wonderful and beautiful. (and our fulfillment of the dream to have a big family! Some of that is because I wasn’t chasing an education in Josh and Jen’s formative years. Lance was working, studying making a way for our family to be secure and stable. Teamwork! That’s us~

Although I understand all this, …education or lack of, raised it’s head again last week. I was having all kinds of doubts about the blog and the podcast and what’s the point…and I picked up A.W. Tozar’s book on the Holy Spirit. He says, “How did God use someone as uneducated as me? I never finished the 8th grade. I never went to Bible College or Seminary. I was the least educated person God could select to use for His honor and glory. This brings me to the point that God does not choose us for who we are, or how qualified we are, but for who He is and what He is permitted to do in our lives.” Talk about a balm to my soul. I knew this already. Lance refers to it as being F.A.T. faithful, available, teachable. But in the long days and short years of this life, that had been buried. Reading this theologian speak what I think was amazing. So, I told the Enemy there’s no fortress for him here and in Jesus name he should go.

Looking forward: What I’m learning in Life On The Other Side of 60 means not wasting time on trivial stuff. It means earnestly seeking Jesus first thing in the morning, through the day and before I sleep at night. It means forgiving, forgiving, forgiving. It means loving first because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19) It means looking beyond the impossible to see the possible (Luke 1:37) through Jesus. Life on the other side of 60 means applying long ago learned truths to TODAY. Like F.A.T. and another one: put faith in the facts and the feelings will follow for days when I can’t see Him or hear Him. I have faith that his promises are just as real on my worst day as they are on my best day, because my faith is in him and not me or my feelings. I now see how good it is to take myself out of strained situations and regard others more important than me. (Philippians 3:2) Yet, this one remains challenging for me; it’s not necessary to attend every argument I’m invited to, nor is it necessary to be able to check the win column on my scoresheet because there is no more score sheet.

I’m learning that life is not supposed to be a feel good paradise. Often I would get frustrated with God because I was faithfully presenting my wish list to him, yet most of it wasn’t happening. Where was he? Then when hard times came, and things didn’t go as I planned, I thought he had abandoned me. But, now I see that’s WRONG! When the hard times come and the struggles come, I think He’s using that to show me His grace. Paul David Tripp says that ,”This present life is meant by God to be a time of preparation for our eternal home. ” I reckon now, if there are no struggles or challenges in my life, then I aught to search myself and see what’s going on or not going on. Another good Paul Tripp truth is that when we pray, it shouldn’t be us presenting a list of demands to him for his signature at the bottom, but rather, us presenting him a blank sheet of paper which we have already signed at the bottom, fully anticipating what He reveals.

We should always remember, that He is the same as he was yesterday, is today, and will be tomorrow. (Hebrews 13:8) His promises are faithful and true. (Colossians 1:27). Before I say the end, I’d like to ask a favor. I really enjoying feedback, and I appreciate when folks tell me if what I’ve said is nonsense or helpful. I’m going to keep doing them because I feel His urging to do so. Maybe someone just needs to read/hear that they are not alone in whatever they are going through. Maybe someone needs to be reminded we’re all flawed and on one is perfect. ( None. Nope, not even your favorite Pastor or Celebrity pastor.)

If you’d like to ask a question or ask for prayer, please do it. Would love for this to be more than a one way street.

Resources for this one:

Devotional : Restoration Year devotional by John Eldredge

Song: Good God Almighty – Crowder

Podcast: Living in Post-Christian America

AFTERTHOUGHTS

When I wrote this the complete and utter failure by the American government in Afghanistan had not yet taken place. I ask that you keep those who were left behind by the Biden/Harris administration (along with millions dollars of equipment) in prayer. Well, don’t keep the actual equipment in prayer, just the use of it, or the return of it. I’m reading online that the Afghan Church is still alive, despite being hunted. Please pray for Afghanistan.

Listening (TOSOF60)

/ Baldwin Acres / Leave a comment

Could be because I have no idea what I’m doing, and partly because the words don’t come or they come too fast, but I have really struggled to get this second podcast done. Let me just say life is chaotic right now. And, it has been for a few years. Instead of looking for a significant word that will define my year (Hope, Love, Yes) mine has been more of a theme. And, this last five years….”it is what it is.” Most times I can hear God’s voice in the chaos of life, but more often than not it’s the Enemy’s voice who comes first. I reckon it’s because his voice is accusing, lying, berating, quick and LOUD. In this in between world, that resonates most with me. Maybe you, too? I don’t understand it, but it is what it is.

I read once that the person you have the most conversation with on a daily basis is you. Constantly, throughout the day we’re feeding our selves information. It’s not neccesairly the truth either, could be true, could be lies. We are either openly or unknowingly listening to the enemy, who by the way, has only hated humans since they were created, first and If you’re like me, you have to STOP to hear the voice of God.

The voices battling for prominence during my day are: mine, God’s and Satan’s. There is a battle. (see Ephesians 6) But, we -God and I will win. To be able to move beyond lazy listening….there’s a process for me.

When I’m a lazy listener, I will remain, or maybe become , more defeated and depressed. The first ‘thing’ that comes into my head is what I go with. And, for whatever reason, it’s usually an unhealthy thing. Lazy listening brings with it a defeatist attitude that would be easy to sink into. Like a mud pit. The Bible challenges us in a few areas about listening – lazy or otherwise. (This is why it’s important for me to get back in the habit of memorizing scripture! So it’s in my heart and I don’t have to go to the phone or my bible). In Hebrews 4:12 it says, His powerful word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to LISTEN and OBEY.

If we are Jesus’s followers, we should have great hope that he himself has said, he is our shepherd and he KNOWS us, and we KNOW him and KNOW his voice. (John 10:27) At the end of this great promise from him he says, No one can steal them (his sheep – us) out of his hand! So, no matter how loud the enemy roars, no matter what he says, it has no other power than what we listeners give him.

Here’s what I’ve learned to listen to God:

Be quiet, be still, be intentional. Colossians 4:2 – Devote yourselves to prayer with an ALERT mind and a thankful heart. Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. It’s going to take building not just on our faith, but our time.

Talk less. Proverbs 15:28 – The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking. Also, it’s hard to talk when you’re listening.

Be honest in your relationship with God. This is kind of a challenging one for me. In the book of John Jesus says he goes before his sheep and his sheep follow him, because he knows his sheep and they know his voice. (see John 10: 1-17) In verse 4 He says, After he has gathered his own flock, (talking about the shepherd who has collected his sheep from the protected group of sheep behind a gate) he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.

Ask questions: one of the most challenging things for me is to move beyond religious speak and ask exaclty where I am in my relationship with Him. Is it close? Am I honest with Him? Have I asked Him to search me and show me my wrongs so I can be redeemed? Uh, usually the answer is no. My spiritual muscles of listening, learning, loving etc are getting stronger but I’m a long way from where I need to be. It’s painful to ask these questions, and to listen to the answers and to DO SOMETHING to change, but our beautiful God, who loves us so much, is mercifully grace filled when He answers. He promised He would never leave us or forsake us and in this promise, we can confidently go to Him with all our ickness and sin and questions.

In addition to these things, I would love to give some resources that have absolutely helped me in my journey on the other side of 60. (Landed on 61 this month!)

Daily Devotional: New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp.

Music: I listen to the Apple contemporary music playlist which is often updated. But, my favorites are Mercy Me, Big Daddy Weave and Crowder.

Podcasts: Y’all…this is an easy one: The Brant and Sherrie Oddcast. My number one podcast that I eagerly look forward to.

Ok. Hope I made sense. Y’all be blessed and thanks for listening.